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moflynn: I'm trying to watch my girlish figure
ron: you know what would make you more attractive?
moflynn: if I stood further away?

10.0 rating with 2 votes.

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nicole: what kind of dog do you have?
some guy: a golden retriever
moflynn: yeah, I like dogs that retrieve gold

10.0 rating with 3 votes.

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I'm taking a Cialis every night now, it's not for sex, it's just to keep me from rolling out of bed.

10.0 rating with 2 votes.

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I was gonna spoil the joke but then I figured why be a jerk all the time, that's Joe's job.

9.7 rating with 8 votes.

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e-mail: which came first, the chicken or the egg?
moflynn: this question comes up from time to time and I need to clear it up once and for all, it is the chicken, eggs have no legs, they have no arms, nor any way of coming at all, so, the chicken, with legs and wings can come and it can come first, second, third and so on, unless an earthquake or strong wind rolls the stupid stationery, none coming anywhere anytime egg, this is painfully obvious

9.7 rating with 4 votes.

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mike s: Mike, do you know who Dizzy Gillespie is?
moflynn: yeah, that guy blows, literally

9.6 rating with 5 votes.

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Bulimia makes me want to throw up.

9.5 rating with 6 votes.

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If you call someone a fag in India they have to kill you.

9.3 rating with 7 votes.

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My ex-wife left me 10 times and I only left her once, then she followed me from town to town until I threatened to kill her.

9.3 rating with 6 votes.

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I got hit in the face with so many nuts I thought I was a ballchinian.

9.3 rating with 6 votes.

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